The Mental Health Impacts of Abandonment in the Black Community
By Matt Gentles
Families are complex dynamics that shape how we see, engage, and value the world and relationships around us. Many carry wounds from our relationships with our mothers, fathers, or other parental figures. These wounds, often stemming from emotional neglect or unmet needs, can leave us feeling inadequate, restless, and driven to seek validation in exhausting ways. Imagine the relief and healing that can come from acknowledging these deep-seated hurts. When we open up about these experiences, we hope to create a space filled with empathy, understanding, and connection. By slowing down and embracing mindfulness, we can address these wounds, finding a sense of peace and fulfillment that comes from within. Sharing these stories fosters a sense of belonging and support, reminding us that we are not alone in our struggles and that healing is possible.
The Psychological Toll of Parental Absence
Having an absent parent has profound and lasting effects on how children grow up and engage with the world. Research shows that children from households without a mother, father, or other primary parental figure face higher risks of incarceration, behavioral problems, and low self-esteem. A parent's absence is one of the most vital indicators of delinquency, surpassing socioeconomic status and peer pressure. These children are also more prone to mental illnesses like depression and anxiety and have a higher risk of suicidal thoughts. Parents influence a child’s worldview first, shaping their beliefs, behaviors, and overall well-being.
Real-Life Struggles and Emotional Impact
Being an adolescent is already challenging; navigating hormonal changes, life transitions, and the complexities of developing independence and autonomy is difficult enough. The impact of an absent parent during this crucial time can cause significant distress for teens. Many teenagers, particularly within the Black community, exhibit aggressive behavior and depression due to the absence of a parent. Despite seeking mental health support, many struggle with feelings of abandonment, highlighting the need to address both the social and emotional needs of children without a parental figure. Mental health professionals emphasize creating safe spaces where young people can express their feelings, although there is a notable shortage of mental health practitioners focused on Black mental health. While having a mental health space to navigate these challenges would be ideal, we also know that healthy community connections, involvement in safe extracurricular activities, and strong relationships can help support our teens.
The Role of Community and Mentorship
The importance of community support in helping young people navigate the challenges of adolescence cannot be overstated. Organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters mentor fatherless and motherless boys and girls, providing role models and support. Programs like the Campaign for Black Male Achievement are also crucial. However, some leaders argue that while mentors are invaluable, they cannot replace the role of a parent. The deep emotional pain many boys and girls feel due to the absence of a parent cannot be understated.
The Importance of Positive Involvement
Studies emphasize that the quality of a parent's involvement is more important than their physical presence. A parent's active participation promotes positive development in children, fostering a sense of security and self-worth. Despite these efforts, many children still feel abandoned, leading to emotional and psychological distress. However, even small, consistent actions and expressions of care can significantly enhance a child's well-being and build resilience. By engaging in meaningful conversations, showing genuine interest in their activities, and providing emotional support, parents can make a lasting positive impact on their children's lives. Every moment of quality interaction counts, and these efforts can help children thrive, overcome challenges, and develop a strong foundation for their future.
Breaking the Cycle and Building Resilience
The notion that children need both parents to succeed highlights the impact of how the remaining parent or guardian frames the absence. Creating a community of supportive "social parents" who can provide guidance and support is an effective alternative. Teaching children to manage their emotions is crucial, and programs offering structured opportunities for positive involvement, like sports and rites-of-passage initiatives, are essential.
Moving Forward: Building Supportive Environments
Creating nurturing environments for children is crucial to fostering and reinforcing their faith and trust in humanity. Historically, institutions like churches and after-school programs within the community have guided young people, but unfortunately, these support systems have diminished over time. Revitalizing these institutions and spaces and ensuring economic opportunities can address the root causes of parental absence. Initiatives such as Obama's My Brother’s Keeper, single-gender schools like Eagle Academy and Urban Prep, and organizations like 100 Black Men play vital roles in supporting children without a parental figure. However, the community's efforts may not fully compensate for the absence of millions of mothers and fathers.
Conclusion
Addressing the mental health impacts of abandonment in the Black community requires a multifaceted approach. While mentoring programs and community initiatives provide essential support, the emotional and psychological needs of children without a parental figure must also be addressed. By doing so, we can help heal the empty feeling in their hearts and provide them with the tools to build a brighter future.
Sources:
American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Black men’s mental health matters. Monitor on Psychology. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/09/ce-black-mental-health
Obama Foundation. (n.d.). My brother’s keeper: Seven years of walking alongside Youth and communities. https://www.obama.org/stories/mbk-7-years-youth-and-communities/
Sherr, L., Roberts, K. J., & Croome, N. (2017). Emotional distress, resilience and adaptability: a qualitative study of adults who experienced infant abandonment. Health Psychology and Behavioral Medicine, 5(1), 197–213. https://doi.org/10.1080/21642850.2017.1297238
