New Goal: Leaving the Year on Read
The messages we get this time of year are often plagued with language like, “wrap up”, “accomplishments”, and “new goals”. They all hint at a larger issue of our society being too far driven by productivity. Our value is too often linked to what we can produce. Enough! We are worth so much more. Our lives can be sustainable, full of love and surprises, even without making a SMART goal. So as we barrel toward the end of the year, let’s look for ways to devalue the messages we receive and uplift our worth.
“2022 is almost over”
It’s the text we’ve been expecting but somehow always surprises us. How did twelve months go by so fast - or did it because I don’t remember much of May… or even July? Did we have a summer? How is it snowing already?
“Take a look at all you have accomplished this year”
Oh no! Not this. Whether your work calendar is reminding you of a deadline you missed or some random clothing site sending you a cart full of things you never bought, we are constantly reminded that we need to be in a state of goals and check(outs)points. Keep moving forward, don’t look back, and let everyone know that you won at all things this year. I mean did we even go to the gym every day we said we would or finally clean out the hall closet full of items we forgot we needed? Do these things even need to happen for us to feel good about another year passing?
“It’s 2023, time to dream bigger, be better, and find the true meaning of your life”
Okay, we’ve never gotten that text but for sake of making this point, it’s there now. We are staring down the rest of our lives people - time to turn it all around, right? No! Instead, let’s leave that text (and all the others) on read. We’ve clocked it and decided it’s best to do nothing about it. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I’m putting my phone back on the charger and taking an extended nap.
“Hello? Did you get my last text?”
The universe, and its many systems, knows you got the last text but here we are looking forward to letting them sit and ponder their own existence. Instead, we will focus on reworking what it means to be productive. Or better yet, let’s throw “productive” out the window, it can watch the snow pile up!
“Want to do some planning?”
Leave it on read.
“Let's unpack this year’s progress”
Definitely leave this one on read!
“You up?”
I mean… who’s asking?
It’s OK to come to a complete stop.
We often find ourselves trying to find the best way forward after each task, project, or milestone. This isn’t necessarily a bad practice but sometimes it gets in the way of time to rest, reset, and reflect. We don’t always have to be GO GO GO, one might argue that we rarely have to be GO GO GO. And we don’t always have to feel like everything is perfectly done. It’s okay to finish earlier or later than expected, to pivot in a new direction that fits your needs, to try again when you have the energy, or give up entirely. A complete stop is often necessary for you to evaluate what you need.
Focus on what’s giving.
If it’s not fulfillment you’re seeking, what’s it all for? Are you prioritizing yourself at work, in your personal downtime, with your friends, family, and partnerships? It’s easier said than done, we recognize that but what is life if not running, or free falling, towards something that brings you joy, fills you with warmth, and givesssss you life. The opposite of this is working your way to burning out which looks like mood changes, time wasted, and physical ailments like migraines, depression, skin conditions, insomnia, etc. [X].
Gratitude and rest go a long way.
Remember when we threw productivity out the window? Yeah, it’s still there and it’s finding itself useful without you and that’s okay. There is no need to be productive, you can find some small ways to rest and honor yourself as a human without attaching your value to productivity. You are more than deadlines, key performance metrics, and unsolicited expectations. You are worthy all on your own.
Come to the table with your truth.
“We are living in a world where we are disconnected with ourselves and we can’t connect with other people. And that’s because everybody is perpetuating a fraud, I mean everybody. I mean, I became a mom, and all of the moms I’ve run into - all of their kids are gifted, none of their kids have any issues, all of their kids come home with straight As, and I’m like ‘Hell, really?’. [...] nobody is coming to the table with their truth so that we can come to a space where we can connect. That’s the thing, nobody wants to reveal their shit.” - Viola Davis, Actors on Actors [x]
For us to continue building our lives we should remain true to ourselves and our journeys - even if they are up and down, sideways, with a few Uno reverses thrown in. Show up to the table in truth and others will follow.
Let’s leave this year on read. We can respond when we’re ready - or avoid most of it altogether. You are still impressive even if casually walking into 2023.
